Youtube Time With Cousin Kevin: Weekend’s Top 5

February 13, 2011

I spent the weekend in Nashville, and a good portion of the weekend with my cousin Kevin. We’ve kind of always been this team of “anything can happen” when we get together. And last night, that “anything” was going down, what I like to call, the downward spiral of destruction, falling into the deep, dark, rabbit hole of Youtube video despair. Simply put, we stayed up until almost 3:00 AM watching Youtube videos, while his wife slept on the couch.

For a while our buddy Blake was over, but when his wife fell asleep on the couch he actually had the decency to give in, and get her home and in bed…an hour after she fell asleep. He’s the gentleman of the bunch. So, we watched a bunch of videos. Starting by watching ones that we had seen like, “Oh, did you see blah blah blah? NO?!?! Oh my gosh, wait let me find it!” And after we watched said video we would click on a related video. And then watch it and click on a video related to it. And so on and so forth, forever and ever until 3:00 AM. Yep, the rabbit hole.

You can imagine there were some we came across that I should not share with you. So I won’t. But here are my Top 5 Favorite Youtube Videos (that I am willing to post on my blog) of the Weekend (Number 1 being my most favorite). You may or may not have seen them, but here they are…

NUMBER 5: “Boom Goes the Dynamite”

This is just a painful ball of awkwardness if I’ve ever seen one, though I have never really seen a literal ball of awkwardness, come to think of it. Anyways. In the longest three minutes and fifty-five seconds of his life, this young Sports Caster, Brian Collins, put Michael Cera to shame with the amount of awkward he brought to the table, by bumbling, messing up lines, and then finally resorting to trying to just do play-by-play commentary. And boom goes the dynamite.


NUMBER 4: “Stressed office guy destroys computer”

All this poor guy wanted to do was print something out from his computer in his little office cubicle. He probably hates his job and feel indifferent about life in general. Can’t a guy just print something in peace? Nope. The printer was not playing along so this guy decided to print what was on his screen, one way or another.


NUMBER 3: “Cop Tasers Himself”

This one is short, sweet, and to the point. Just some good clean fun, cop tasering himself style!


NUMBER 2: “Cop accidentally shoots himself”

Now, this gem is ridiculous, scary and funny on many levels. It starts off simple enough, with a cop giving some life skills to a group of school kids. His advice on drugs? No, not the usually “just say no”, but he rather tells them to just run away. But that’s really nothing. He picks up a Glock. He mentions the rappers 50 Cent and Too Short…um, not sure when last I heard someone mention Too Short. And then, while explaining how you should be careful with a gun, he shoots himself. Yep. In the foot. Does he stop his lecture? Nope. He keeps going (limping) and even tries to use him shooting himself as an example to the kids. And then he tries to show them another gun. That’s when the kids couldn’t take anymore and just started heckling him. But when all is said and done, I think he got his message across.


NUMBER 1: “Monkey Pee!”

Ok, this video is truly amazing. Come on guys! Stop being so childish with your monkeys having sex videos! Or monkeys scratching their butts, sniffing their fingers and falling out of trees! Immature! This video is way superior. I didn’t even realize this was possible, really, and, as good of an imagination as I have, I have never even thought of this as a possibility in the first place. But this monkey is no amateur at this honed skill. He’s done this before.






Astronomical Kid!

February 10, 2011

Astronomical Kid, a big name to live up to, with skills capable of that challenge, “And uuuh, I came from the bottom to the top. I’m representing real hiphop!” And at only fourteen-years-old his words couldn’t be more true. I stumbled upon him on Youtube, like many people probably did, my attention immediately grabbed by his track “Stop Lookin’ at My Mom”, which saw millions of hits worldwide.

I thought the track was catchy, and a nice mixture between tough and innocent. I was impressed that there was no profanity in his lyrics, he didn’t promote gangsterism and drug use, and he wasn’t degrading towards women (the opposite really in that particular track, as he warns guys not to gawk at his Mom). But I wondered if this Astronomical Kid was another “one hit wonder”, or just another kid who got lucky with one viral video, possessing nothing much to follow-up with. So I went to his Youtube page and listened to some more of his tracks, from various different mixtapes.

I was blown away by what I heard. Honed skills, originality, diverse flows, and some serious lyrical content, with a large vocabulary…actually used properly. I know grown adults in the Cape Town hiphop scene who improperly throw around big words, just for the sake of using them, trying to look intelligent but achieving the opposite, really. No ABC rhymes from the Astronomical Kid. This kid spits next level stuff.

What really excites me is to see his passion, motivation and love for music, but also his seeming desire to express it in a positive way. Sure, he rhymes about wanting to make money, but there are more gems to find under that gold, and no negativity to speak of. That became very clear to me when I saw a video he just posted today on Twitter of a cypher he went to. These older dudes went first and they were rapping like, “Blah blah blah mother f@&%ing late, blah blah take you on a mother f@&%ing date.” I wasn’t impressed. But then the Astronomical Kid stepped up to the plate, the DJ kicked the beat,  and Astronomical Kid started bobbing his head.

He opened his mouth and started rapping a bold, fluid stream of verse, with solid punchlines, using no profanity at all, and switching flows at least seven times. If you ask me, he EMBARRASSED a bunch of grown men. I hope if the mic got passed back around to them, they passed it up. It excites me to see such young talent in a kid who is a role model and inspiration to kids, and even adults. I don’t think it will be long before the kid gets signed, but I’m sure he can use all the support he can get. You can follow him on Twitter, check out his Facebook page, his website, or his Youtube page.

And here’s the video of him putting grown men to shame:

I Was Stabbed By Satan – K’naan

February 10, 2011

I’m really loving this song right now. It just won’t stop playing on my laptop.

What?! Viagra will rid me of many problems in my life?

February 10, 2011

So, yeah. There I was just minding my own business when I noticed I had an email from my sister-in-law Darcy. I checked it, and there was a simple little sentence and a link, which I thought was her attempt at trying to be funny, as she often does. The sentence said, “…It’ll rid you of many problems in your life!!” Yes, the sentence literally began with an ellipsis and ended it with, not one, but two exclamation points.

Knowing Darcy, I figured the link leading me to this thing that promised to solve all my problems would be a good deal on a razor (she’s a beard hater), or a video of a monkey picking its butt, falling out of a tree (she likes that kind of thing), or something along those lines. So I clicked on the link. To my surprise it was more random than I could have imagined! It was a GREAT deal (I assume because that is what it said, “great deal”, though I have not ever bought it) on Viagra. At that moment, I realized, or at least hoped with all my heart and soul, that she had been hacked, and I informed her.

Here’s what she posted on Facebook, which I (actually do) find pretty, pretty, pretty funny!

“If either my husband or I have you in our contacts, you’ve probably received a pretty interesting email from me today (I got hacked… again). Sorry about that! But here are some of my top picks and who they were sent to: “Your penis can do much more!” (former principal), “My friend helped me to get rid of eczema!” (Michael Moore), “I know how to save your family!” (my mom), “100% of good sex!” (my hubby’s law school professor), “Quality is guaranteed!” (my hubby’s last boss, a federal judge), “Feel like a man all over again!” (my good friends Jacqueline, Katiah, Emily, and Tia), “My girlfriend looks like a Top-Model!” (a parent of one of my former students), and last but not least, “Forget about your dysfunctions!” (appropriately sent to my sweet husband) If you were left out of this email fiasco, that’s really too bad! :)”

Good (not all that) clean fun right there! Oh, and…let me know if you want the link! I’ll get Darcy to email it to you. …It’ll rid you of many problems in your life!!

Yesterday’s “terms” that brought people to my site…

February 9, 2011

This WordPress site stats thing is so cool, and weird, and creepy. They tell me the words and phrases people search that led them to my blog. Some days are funnier than others, but every day includes blackheads, and usually horses. Here’s yesterday’s:


Search Engine Terms

These are terms people used to find your site.


Search Views
jackie jan thoughts

ryan dalton rapper



black people who go to harvard 1
i believe in god but i hate religion 1
thoughts about street child 1
what is the junk in blackheads 1
don’t leave your baggage unattended 1
Total views referred by search engines 7


Random Thought #109

February 8, 2011

Some of the most horrific, racist, and brutal atrocities of Apartheid happened in the subtleties of the day-to-day norms of White Suburbia.

White Guilt, Black History -Tweetathon

February 6, 2011

It’s like reading Japanese, except instead of reading right to left you have to read from bottom to top.