Money has been tight lately. How tight you ask? Tight as a pair of skinny jeans on a chubby teenager! And if you have never seen that, let’s just say that’s extremely tight! And I am not really the type to beg, borrow, or steal, so, in times like these, I have to get creative with ways of finding cash. One of my, not so creative, ways was going around my house looking for things to sell. Yeah, kind of a “tired” and “done” method, I know. Though it lacked creativity, it was a pretty big challenge…for a couple of reasons.
One, I don’t have all that much “extra”, unused stuff. Like, most of the stuff in my flat, I use on a daily basis, and I don’t have a bunch of superfluous stuff from the Home Shopping Network just laying around waiting to be pawned. Most of my stuff gets used daily, or it finds its way to the exit. And two, most of the stuff I do own is not all that valuable. Take my television for example, that’s something I could go without because, whether the average American admits it or not, television is not a basic necessity, but rather a luxury. The only problem is, though my television is absolutely perfect for me, it is pretty old as far as TV sets go; yeah, it’s actually the kind with the built-in VHS player. It’s still in that awkward teenage phase of possessions: too old to be cool but too young to be antique.
The rest of my belongings tell pretty much the same old story as my television, over and over again. All my scavenging for goods-to-sell did not, however, leave me totally empty handed. I realized I had an extra computer monitor I could sell. I mean, it is practically in perfect condition. Surely, this wonderful piece of Asian electronics could get me a couple hundred, I thought! So I dusted it off, loaded it in my car, and drove to Cash Crusaders. I started thinking about asking prices on the way there because, though I had no clue how much I paid in the first place, or how much a used monitor would go for, I knew they would probably ask me how much I wanted for it. I had no inkling really, but I wanted to be prepared. I thought I’d start high and let them talk me down. 300 Rand ($40 US). Yeah, that’s good.
I pulled in the parking lot of Cash Crusaders and was fortunate enough to find front row parking. Those computer monitors aren’t light you know! I picked up the monitor from the back seat, and struggled to close the car door with my foot. Right as I walked through the doors of the shop I could feel the pessimistic glare of a lady looking at me. “Can I help you?” She asked it, already knowing the answer, almost as if she knew there was absolutely nothing she could do to help me. I held up the monitor a bit, “I’d like to sell this.” She sighed, rolled her eyes slightly, and pointed to the “buy back” section.
I was immediately met by a man. “Yes sir, how can I help you?”
I lifted the monitor again, “Uh yeah, I’d like to sell this?”
He looked at my boxy monitor and laughed, “Don’t you have a flat screen?”
I was not following him, and the monitor was getting heavier. “Excuse me?”
“Come and look here.” The man walked over and pointed at a shelf in the back, a shelf completely full of the ‘old’ model of computer monitor, the kind of was trying to sell to him.
I looked at him as though he still hadn’t answered my question. “So, you…?”
He gave me the most patronizing look of pity I have received in a while. “No, we are not buying those old monitors back from people anymore because nobody wants them. They want the flat screens.”
I stood there, really feeling the weight of the monitor at that point, “Alrighty then.” Did I just use a Jim Carrey phrase out of embarrassment? I walked off with my head down.
Giving his final, non-exchangeable, two cents, the man said, “Bring me back a flat screen and I’ll buy it from you.”
I didn’t look back and mumbled something about not having a flat screen or something like that. I loaded the old fashioned boxy computer monitor into the boot of my car, got in, and tried not to make eye contact with any of the people who had seen me both enter and exit with the same, bulky computer monitor. I reckoned that particular Cash Crusaders must have just gotten a sudden spurt of people bringing in monitors to sell and I decided to check another one out. I parked a bit further at the second one. This time I left the monitor in the car and went in to do a recon. Sure enough, they had the same story, and the same shelf full of monitors that were close cousins to mine. Man!
Now it has been a few weeks, and well, that monitor is still in the boot of my car. Thursday night I performed in Ocean View, and after the gig I was out by my car with a group of kids from the area. I wanted to get some copies of my CD out of the boot to give to them. I pulled out four CD’s for the four of them and made a joke about the monitor, asking them if they wanted to buy it. I didn’t have any takers, but the one kid told me the local Ocean View “merchant” sells them for only 30 Rand ($4 US). Thanks kid! I feel much better now. So… I have basically decided I can do one of three things:
1) I can sell the computer monitor for 30 Rand. Keeping in mind that if I do not sell it somewhere that I am already going I will probably be spending 30 Rand worth of petrol to get to the place to sell it for that low, low price. Or…
2) I can give it away. It is a perfectly good monitor that is in fine working condition, so it would not go against my hatred of giving other people stuff that is old, beat-up, or no good. And surely the Cash Crusader guy is not correct that anybody and everybody wants flat screens. I mean, a free monitor is a free monitor right? Or… my personal favorite…
3) I can destroy it in a fun way. I could throw it off of a bridge, bash it with a sledgehammer, or get a bunch of friends together and play a game of soccer using the monitor as a ball. I would think the fun I could have destroying it would be worth way more than a mere 30 Rand, and if I involved more people in the process it definitely would. I could maybe even get my 300 Rand’s worth if I play my cards right!
So yeah, first of all, is there anyone out there who wants this computer monitor? Don’t be shy. If you want it, it’s yours! I will give you a few days to respond. And if no one does, what do you guys think I should do with it? Sell it for 30 Rand or destroy it? If destroy is your answer, please elaborate on just how you think I should destroy it. I will take the best idea, if the destroy option is indeed the winning option, and I will make a video of the computer monitor’s destruction and upload it here. Please post your comments below on what you think I should do with my, apparently, ancient, bulky, unwanted, out of style computer monitor. I’ll give it a few days. The computer monitor’s fate lies in your hands!