This is a warning! This blog contains semi-crude potty humor. If you are not an individual that subscribes to such humor, do not read beyond this point!
Ok, for those of you who don’t like it but kept reading just to see what this is all about, this is your second warning! There will be no more, seriously.
Hello my fellow potty heads!
So I was standing at a urinal in a public toilet today doing you know what, and this man pulls up next to me and starts doing his thing. He was one of those really focused public toilet goers, which I appreciate, who just looked at the wall and minded his own business, if you know what I mean. He looked like some sort of successful businessman or something; sporting a nice Italian suit, dark tan a little out of season, a nice toupee, and one of those used car salesmen smirks.
I was also standing there, minding my own business, though it does not seem like it by my gratuitous description of the man, and all of the sudden this guy passes a good fifteen second fart; and not just any old fart, he played Reveille with his bums in a way that would have made any soldier proud! I’m talking about a real bugle blowing contest, but he was the one and only contender!
But he did not move. He kept his face like flint and continued on with the task at hand. It was at that moment I wished I wasn’t an adult. Because kids can just bust out laughing and it is socially accepted that they are “just kids” and “immature” or whatever. I wanted to laugh soooo bad. I mean SOOOOOO bad! But I couldn’t. I just had to stand there and hold it in. And that I did.
I mean, the man did not even respond. He just acted as though Louie Armstrong did not make a guest appearance in his back pocket! He didn’t laugh. He didn’t chuckle. He didn’t even slightly smile. He just stared at the wall. That is what gets me about these situations, and oh yes indeed this was not a first for me! It’s ok if it slips! It happens to the best of us! And when it does slip, it’s the guys toilet; I am not asking for an apology, or an “excuse me”, or anything polite like that!
But what I am asking for is a little bit of acknowledgement that gas was passed, with a smile or a chuckle or boisterous laugh. You can judge your response on how long and loud the fart was, but please, oh please respond! Because if you do not respond, or even acknowledge your bum cheek applause, then it does not give the rest of us the “ok” to laugh, or smile, or even acknowledge how awesome and funny it was!
All I am asking really is this: if you are standing, or sitting, in a public toilet and you rip one, whether on purpose or by accident, just acknowledge it with some sort of humor-based response, so that the rest of us, who were subjected to your musical toot, can also share in the fun and feel free enough to fully enjoy it!