It’s so easy to feel like a rock star with the right pair of shades on! And when I say “right” I don’t necessarily mean sunglasses that other people think look good on you. When I say “right” I mean, a nice pair of sunglasses that you feel good wearing. The kind that make you look cooler, to yourself, when you are driving down the street singing one of your favorite songs, looking in the rear view mirror which doubles as a television screen playing MTV or VH1. Other people look at you as “that guy who thinks he’s cool”, but you don’t care. You are in the music video for that song, and those sunglasses are an essential part of your wardrobe.
Most of my life I have not been a sunglasses person; and yes, I do believe you get sunglasses people. A sunglasses person is someone who can pretty much put on any pair of sunglasses and look totally cool in them, and not just to themselves. I repeat, I am not one of those people. I guess I just have a funny shaped face or something. But recently I have started wearing sunglasses pretty much on a daily basis. At first it was out of necessity because the South African sun has given my eyes a beat down over the years and I can barely open my eyes outside on a really sunny day. But after a while I just began to enjoy wearing them.
And because I am not a sunglasses person, and pretty much any pair I buy looks pretty dumb on me, I just stopped caring. This was a liberating experience because, much like a sunglasses person, I can wear any pair of sunglasses and feel free. I may not look as cool as the sunglasses person, who can pull off any pair, but I feel just as free, and that’s all that really maters in my book. For instance, I have one pair that I call my “Jewish business man’s glasses” because they look exactly like that, those big, blocky glasses you see Jewish business men on movies wearing.
They look pretty ridiculous on me. Most people think it is funny I wear them. I do to. But I like them for some strange reason. Anyways!
I had this other pair of sunglasses that I liked, but they squeezed my head and gave me a headache. So yesterday I went to this cheap sunglasses store to see if they had the equivalent version in a non-head-squeezing model. And indeed they did. And indeed I bought them. As I was leaving the mall I pulled up to the traffic lights, where some children often beg for money, and I saw a boy (about twelve-years-old or so) a few cars up, asking for something or the other. I motioned for him to come over.
He curiously came up to my car window, expecting me to hand him some money. He seemed a bit more timid than the average kid that begs at a traffic light. I held up the head-squeezers, which looked like they would fit perfectly on his head that was about half the size of my enormous melon,
“You want a pair of sunglasses?”
His eyes lit up. He did not hesitate for a second. He enthusiastically nodded his head yes. I handed him the glasses. He earnestly thanked me, put them on, shook my hand and walked on. The people in the car next to me were full of smiles watching this, probably out of the ordinary, scene. They gave me thumbs up, as though I had just come up with the cure for some incurable disease. The red light turned green. As I drove away I looked at the kid in the rear view mirror. He was strutting down the side walk, shades on, chin held high, chest puffed up, shoulders back, listening to the cheers of the millions of invisible fans.
He was a rock star! It was a beautiful moment.