Heart of Jenin

September 28, 2009

If you can go to a film festival or get your hands on this documentary somehow, watch it! It is powerful stuff!! A 12-year-old Palestinian boy was killed in the West Bank city of Jenin by Israeli soldiers when they mistook a play gun he had for a real one.

On his death the boy’s father decided to allow his organs to be donated. They organ recipients were Israeli, and one of the children was a Jew. The film follows the father and three of the children who received organs.


“Darius Goes West” – CBS News Video

September 26, 2009

Check out Darius and Logan on the Early Show on CBS!


Click on the picture to watch it!

People Google Horses: Who Knew?

September 26, 2009

WordPress is cool. I like it a lot! One of the things I like the most about it is the stats feature. For those of you who don’t know, the stats feature allows you to go “behind the scenes” like a fanatical,  psycho stalker and see: how many people have clicked on your blog, how many times specific posts have been clicked on, other links they clicked on from your site, webpages that led them to your blog, and phrases that were searched that led them to your blog.

I am not totally obsessed! Just a little bit. Ok, ok, just a little bit more than a little bit. But I find that kind of stuff really interesting!

It’s very interesting to see certain phrases and words that led people to my blog because they typed into a search engine. Like, “alcohol is my love” for instance. That was a phrase that someone (don’t worry it doesn’t tell me who) typed into Google, or Yahoo or some search engine, and one of the webpage options that was given to them was my blog. That’s so weird. Especially because alcohol is not my love.

I have written quite a bit about horses; a few posts on the Equine Therapy. I have been shocked, pretty much on a daily basis, to see how many people search stuff about horses. What is it with horses? Is there a secret global obsession that I did not know about? Here are some of the things (regarding horses) people have searched to get to my site:

horse rearing up
running horses
free stallion 
wild horses rearing
rabid horse 
running horse 
horse rearing up
rearing horses
rearing horses in a field
black horse
alcohol is my love
running horses palomino
black horses running free
black horse running
black horse

And on my blog I am pretty, pretty, pretty sure they did not find what they were looking for! So, if you are actually one of those people who got to this post through searching something about a horse… I am so sorry if you were misled, but you are most welcome to stay, and come back again real soon!

Heritage Day: National Cook Meat Over a Fire and Get Alcohol Poisoning Day

September 25, 2009

South African public holidays that happen in the middle of the week are annoying when you want to get stuff done. Not only is everything closed on the actual day, but nobody does any work for the rest of the week. If it’s on a Wednesday or Thursday, people here just take the rest of the week off!

“Oh! Wednesday is a public holiday? I love five day weekends!”

Yesterday was Heritage Day. I am a firm believer in knowing where we come from so we can know where we’re going! But it seems the focus of Heritage Day has shifted a bit, seeing that most advertisers are now calling it National Braai Day.

I went in Pick and Pay around 6:39 PM last night to grab some groceries. It was packed. And 86.2% of the people in the store were drunk! (Approximately 23.6% of the store goers were children min you! You do the math.) The place smelled like a rotten wine factory!

It made me not like Heritage Day even more than before.

I should probably be happy about public holidays. But then again I am not a school child anymore, and I do not hate my job. So most of the time public holidays are just an inconvenience for me. Especially when the post office and banks are closed for a National Cook Meat Over a Fire and Get Alcohol Poisoning Day.

Yeah, this rant was brought to you by me needing to mail stuff yesterday, but I am sure the roots are much deeper. Sorry.

Bum Reveille in Public

September 23, 2009

This is a warning! This blog contains semi-crude potty humor. If you are not an individual that subscribes to such humor, do not read beyond this point!

Ok, for those of you who don’t like it but kept reading just to see what this is all about, this is your second warning! There will be no more, seriously.

Hello my fellow potty heads!

So I was standing at a urinal in a public toilet today doing you know what, and this man pulls up next to me and starts doing his thing. He was one of those really focused public toilet goers, which I appreciate, who just looked at the wall and minded his own business, if you know what I mean. He looked like some sort of successful businessman or something; sporting a nice Italian suit, dark tan a little out of season, a nice toupee, and one of those used car salesmen smirks.

I was also standing there, minding my own business, though it does not seem like it by my gratuitous description of the man, and all of the sudden this guy passes a good fifteen second fart; and not just any old fart, he played Reveille with his bums in a way that would have made any soldier proud! I’m talking about a real bugle blowing contest, but he was the one and only contender!

But he did not move. He kept his face like flint and continued on with the task at hand. It was at that moment I wished I wasn’t an adult. Because kids can just bust out laughing and it is socially accepted that they are “just kids” and “immature” or whatever. I wanted to laugh soooo bad. I mean SOOOOOO bad! But I couldn’t. I just had to stand there and hold it in. And that I did.

I mean, the man did not even respond. He just acted as though Louie Armstrong did not make a guest appearance in his back pocket! He didn’t laugh. He didn’t chuckle. He didn’t even slightly smile. He just stared at the wall. That is what gets me about these situations, and oh yes indeed this was not a first for me! It’s ok if it slips! It happens to the best of us! And when it does slip, it’s the guys toilet; I am not asking for an apology, or an “excuse me”, or anything polite like that!

But what I am asking for is a little bit of acknowledgement that gas was passed, with a smile or a chuckle or boisterous laugh. You can judge your response on how long and loud the fart was, but please, oh please respond! Because if you do not respond, or even acknowledge your bum cheek applause, then it does not give the rest of us the “ok” to laugh, or smile, or even acknowledge how awesome and funny it was!

All I am asking really is this: if you are standing, or sitting, in a public toilet and you rip one, whether on purpose or by accident, just acknowledge it with some sort of humor-based response, so that the rest of us, who were subjected to your musical toot, can also share in the fun and feel free enough to fully enjoy it!

Alot can happen in five days!

September 19, 2009

Man, I was only gone to Seychelles for a week and Kanye West storms the stage at another awards show, Patrick Swayze dies, and Obama calls Kanye West a jackass. Pretty crazy.

Just My Luck!

September 13, 2009

Usually when people say that phrase they are referring to a negative occurence of some sort. Um, yeah.

So… I got a random email a couple of weeks ago from an events management company, asking me to write an original happy birthday rap song for a certain, fairly well-known and pretty rich, individual (who’s name I cannot disclose due to confidentiality agreements). The email had the subject “Seychelles booking Ryan” and purely said, 

“Hi Ryan,
I worked with you on (another nameless guy’s) 60th birthday. You did a happy bday song.
I want to use you for something similar in Seychelles. You fly on 13 sept and return on 18 sept.
Whats your cell no?”

My brain took off! Seychelles? A week? WHAT?! And yes, just so you know I performed a rap at another dude’s 60th birthday party back in January, but that’s besides the point. So I emailed the guy my number and he called me almost immediately. He told me who the client was, said it would be an all inclusive week in Seychelles, and I just had to perform the one original track, one time, the night of the client’s party. And they would pay me on top of that. The rest of the week I am free to enjoy the exotic tropical island. That is crazy!

For several reasons! I need money. I have been saying for a loooooooooooooong time how I “need a vacation at a place with a hot sun, warm water and white sands”. Um, and yeah, it is pretty much just totally random and crazy. No need for further reasoning! I confirmed the job, signed the contracts, and wrote the birthday rap. Could it be true that I am actually getting paid to go on a week long, all inclusive vacation on a tropical island? This is too good to be true!

Today was the day. I went to the airport, very early because there was no way I was going to miss that flight! I checked in, drank some smoothies with my wife, and then finally decided just to go on back to my gate. We said goodbye. She headed out the door and I headed towards the security check point. As my phone was passing through the x-ray machine it started ringing. I could not answer it and it went to voice mail. After I successfully passed through the security check point I checked my voice mail.

There was a message from the events manager guy asking me to urgently call him back. Uh oh!

I called him back. He gave me the bad news: the birthday boy is no longer coming to the Seychelles for the party! I could not believe my ears!!

Then I thought I had literally lost my hearing, or my brain, when he said, 

“But don’t worry, you will still get paid. And you are still welcome to come on through and spend a week in Seychelles all expenses paid, but we understand if you have other stuff to do. You will get paid either way.” 

Deep sigh. I guess I will just have to go. Well isn’t that just the way things work! My 2% business 98% holiday trip just turned into a 100%, all expenses paid, PAYING vacation! That’s just my luck!

You are allowed to swear at me now.