Gangster Tears

So, it’s not long now until i am on the streets for 16 days! I preparing myself. Last night, laying in the comfort of my home, on my nice warm comfortable bed, i had the realization that those comforts would be completely and totally removed for those 16 days; my nice therapeutic mattress exchanged for a piece of cardboard on the cold concrete, my warm team of blankets traded for the one not-so-thick blanket, my safe and secure walls replaced with openness and vulnerability. Yeah…

I was in town today and i came across some of the “kids” i haven’t seen in a while. One of them was Jason. Jason is a perfect example of how the streets suck the kids in, the system messes them around, and how little innocent kids can so easily turn into hardened gangsters! I remember when Jason was a little kid; YEARS ago! He was a sweet, considerate, energetic little guy. I also remember when he witnessed one of his best friends on the streets get run over, and killed, by a Golden Arrow bus as they were trying to cross the M3 one late night (November 2004). Needless to say, that was pretty traumatic for Jason. After that things sort of went downhill for him!


Since then Jason has been in and out of jail. He is basically a hardened criminal. His body is covered in gang tattoos, including his neck and face. Under both eyes he has two tear drops. I remember right after Jason witnessed his friend’s death, one night i came across him in town and he seemed extra traumatized, plus he had a HUGE gash in his foot. I brought him to my house and doctored his foot up with my first aid kit and we spoke about his friend. One of the things that bothered him the most was that his friend died, “like a dog”. He said he cried about it, but he did not want to cry about it anymore. The two tattooed tears that are now forever standing under his eyes are a harsh contrast to the way that he has allowed his heart to harden over the years, probably to cope with the pain of the death of his friend, and other things he has seen in his time on the streets.

I don’t know if this blog really even makes since. I don’t know if i really even have a point. But one thing i know is that it hurts to see “kids” with so much potential, their whole lives before them, years later, with nothing to really show for it but some tattoos, hardened little hearts and a stone cold look in their eyes. This is why i want to catch them before they get to that point! And this is one of the MANY reasons that i think it is child abuse to allow a kid to live on the streets in the first place!

(Photo: Masixoli, Jason’s friend who passed away)

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3 Responses to Gangster Tears

  1. MylifE says:

    This makes me cry Ryan, you make sense to those of us that know and have been hardened by seeing the children die so ruthelessly in front of us.

    Your 16 days of activism will bring understanding to those that have no idea of what is happening to our children and they will then have no excuses but to be involved in preventing children from landing up in this environment – which dictates their behaviour.

    The environment that we, society have created and have the audacity to blame the children, put them on the peripheary and carry on with eating sushi in boardrooms..

    Now is the time, we can turn this around xxxxx

  2. fortheloveof... says:

    Thank you to everyone involved shedding light on the indifference and real needs that face us as a specie. I’ll be forwarding this to all I know and assist in raising the awareness. Love and light.

  3. Tendai Joe says:

    this tale has been appearing to me whenever i sleep and it has had a tremendous effect on me,forcing me to look back at those days i was in the streets,we often were the unfortunate ones to witness almost each and every crime scene in town yet we didnt see eye to eye with the police.my heart bleeds for the dead boy,may his soul rest in peace and may there be light for the young ones who might get trapped in these cruel situations.

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